WHEN ADJUSTING TO THE FIRST WEEK OF SUMMER BREAK RESEMBLES 80’S FILMS…
Everyone knows classic excuses like “the dog ate my homework,” but how about this one?
“I’m sorry I’m late for my 9:15, but my son is projectile vomiting across the hall in your women’s restroom. I’m also sorry I’m going to be even later, but I need to get back over there, before someone walks in on him!!” (Read in manic panic, and visualize a person running into a super quiet office, and then running back out.)
It was everywhere. Pink watery vomit. I even had to wash clothes in the sink. He and I both stunk of stomach acid. But, surprise, he’s fine. No fever. No more symptoms. He’s running around like his energized self, asking for lunch. OB even said if he shows no more symptoms and no fever, he is likely perfectly fine. It might have been a short bug? Food poisoning?? No clue. I’ll call it part of the curse.
I wish I’d of taken a picture of him reading a stack of Family Fun Magazine, dog-earring fun summer crafts, while sitting on an inch-high pile of post-baby delivery bed pads (since his shorts and underwear were completely soaked). He looked like the most bizarre (and freakishly young) post-delivery, OB/GYN patient, inappropriately sitting in an office waiting room alone, for about an hour. They don’t allow kids in the exam rooms. Office staff told me he was well behaved out there, by himself, reading his mom magazines, on his bed-sized stack of menstrual pads. All I could picture was the “Soul Glow” couch scene in “Coming to America.” The waiting room is kind of fancy. Light gray couches to share. And, my son’s soaked bum leaving it’s mark on them…
Nothing like dad leaving town for work and life always exploding. I am seriously going to insist on hazard pay, the next time work decides he needs to go somewhere. Almost every ER visit, concussion, Lego stuck up a nose, electrical home failure, bursting water pipes, AC box smoking, etc etc etc, happens when he leaves town, and often mom isn’t even there to prevent it. She just has to swoop in, with her negative half an ounce of sanity, and clean it up. I swear it’s a curse!!! I really, really try so hard not to laugh, or yell, till I cry.
IT HAS BEEN A WEEK OF CRAZY. SEE MONDAY’S POST, FIRST, AND REWIND NOW TO YESTERDAY:
Yesterday, I decided in the 103 real feel, sunny desert temps, that we NEEDED OUT OF THE HOUSE. So, the kids got their scooters, and we attempted to walk the less than half a mile to McDonald’s for the Wednesday $1.99 special Happy Meal.
Well, we didn’t order the right one. Mom never has done this and there wasn’t a sign.
But, the best part? The one even better than having to carry Mya’s scooter almost the entire way to, and from, McDonald’s? The school district call that came in, while we waited for our food, that said to seek safe shelter, because multiple reports of an armed gunman walking the neighborhood near the middle school, had been reported to the local police.
Living in a US border town sometimes has its privileges. We live in a city rife with lots of emergency personal, and military and Federal Agents all around us. We often do not mess around with certain aspects of public safety, and this call is proof of that. School isn’t even in session, as I noted above. Welcome to the first week of summer break in our little neck of El Paso.
Yes, the middle school is in our couple block neighborhood area to walk to McDonald’s, and yes, this is a very rare call that had to come the one time I chose to do this little adventure, just to find some sanity. I joked that the Happy Meal toy was useless in this scenario.
I tried to picture what 1980s Bruce Willis would do, if held hostage in a packed McDonald’s PlayPlace. Mini beanie babies just won’t do, other than to stuff them in my ear drums.
Why couldn’t this of least been timed with the Superhero toys?? “Snort,” the beanie baby bull would not nearly help me as much as “Toro Loco.” But, at the very least, I was holding Mya’s scooter indefinitely, and a tray of watered down, sugary Powerade. It was surely kicking the crap out of my shins, and covering me in sticky yuck. What a Superhero I would make. Fear me.
…..(insert deep sigh)…..
How many moms out there need a hug?? I do! I’ll give them back! This week has been so stressful as a mom, but so far the house hasn’t exploded… HAPPY FIRST WEEK OF SUMMER BREAK!
FRIDAY’S UPDATE: DAD IS HOME.
JUST LIKE E.T., HE PHONED AND MOM SWOOPED INTO THE AIRPORT TO SAVE HIM. ALL SANITY (REMAINING) ON THIS MOTHERSHIP IS RESTORED.
However, Lucy did create a new excuse for the week. She helped the Cavs win Game 4, of the NBA Playoffs, with her cuteness. And, she did eat the basketball.
#momproblems #lol #summerbreak #winealot #mommyneedsatimeout #mamachickpea #supermom